What's the Difference Between a Homeless Shelter and a Domestic Violence Shelter?

Key Takeaways:

• Domestic violence shelters prioritize confidentiality, security and trauma-informed support, while most homeless shelters are not designed to address the risks of an active abuser.
• There are far fewer domestic violence shelter beds than needed, leaving many survivors to navigate difficult alternatives.
• When specialized shelter isn’t available, advocates help survivors weigh options and safety plans, because immediate safety is the priority.

Many of us think of shelters as a one-size-fits-all solution for people in crisis. But the needs of a domestic violence survivor are fundamentally different from those of someone experiencing homelessness. For survivors, it’s not just about a bed—it’s about a place where their abuser can’t find them.

Yet, too many survivors face the dilemma of finding a safe place to go. And when their local domestic violence shelter is full—which most are due to a chronic lack of funding—they are forced to ask themselves, What now? Could I seek refuge at a homeless shelter? The answer is more complicated than it may seem.  

What is a Domestic Violence Shelter?

A domestic violence shelter is temporary, emergency housing for individuals who need to leave an abusive partner. Most shelters house primarily women and children, the main victims of domestic violence, though most shelters also have emergency lodging options for male survivors. As opposed to most homeless shelters, a domestic violence shelter allows individuals to stay in shelter for weeks, if not months at a time and doesn’t require them to vacate during the day. Most also offer additional services such as crisis counseling, case management, legal help, childcare and pet boarding. 

What is a Homeless Shelter?

A homeless shelter is also a form of temporary, emergency housing for individuals and families who are unhoused. The term “unhoused” is preferred in order to focus on the systemic problem of lack of housing, rather than defining a person by their circumstances. Most homeless shelters are co-ed. And most are overnight shelters, meaning that individuals can stay the night but must leave during the day. Day shelters do exist, however, which offer refuge in daytime hours, though are less common. Homeless shelters may offer other services as well such as meals, a food and clothing bank and assistance with long-term housing options. 

The Number of Domestic Violence Shelters Versus Homeless Shelters

However, there are far fewer shelters reserved specifically for those escaping domestic violence than there are for the unhoused population in general. The DomesticShelters.org searchable database has over 2,700 some domestic violence nonprofits listed nationwide, including some in Canada. Domestic violence shelters have around 10 to 15 beds or units for survivors, with some having even fewer. 

Meanwhile, federal homelessness counts report hundreds of thousands of beds in their yearly homelessness housing inventory reports. The numbers far exceed those resources available in domestic violence-specific housing. 

Maricela Rios-Faust is the CEO of Human Options, a domestic violence advocacy organization in Orange County, Calif. As part of their survivor-supportive services, they have a 15-unit emergency shelter, as well as two additional locations that offer short-term housing. Most times, says Rios-Faust, their shelter is at capacity.

This isn’t unique—according to an annual one-day census of individuals seeking help for domestic violence, conducted by the National Network to End Domestic Violence, more than 13,000 requests for help were not able to be met by organizations because of a lack of resources, funding or staffing. Of those, more than half were survivors seeking emergency shelter or other housing. 

When the shelter is full, Rios-Faust says advocates talk through alternatives with survivors. This might mean thinking of a friend or family member who could provide refuge, though that presents its own risks. 

“Sometimes, we’re able to offer them a hotel while they wait for a unit,” she says. “Or we refer them to a homeless shelter or a shelter provider. Ultimately, they choose where they’re going.”

Security Differences Between Homeless and Domestic Violence Shelters

Not all shelters offer the same kind of safety. Here are the key differences between a homeless shelter and a domestic violence shelter:

• Most homeless shelters’ addresses are public, while domestic violence shelters’ locations are more guarded. 
• Most homeless shelters are co-ed, which can be triggering to female survivors leaving a male abuser. 
• Most homeless shelters do not have private rooms, but rather one, large open space for individuals to sleep. Most domestic violence shelters have individual units or rooms shared with one other occupant, allowing for more privacy and safety. 
• Additional nights in a homeless shelter are not guaranteed, whereas many domestic violence shelters offer continuous housing for anywhere from several weeks to a few months.
• Most domestic violence shelters have rules around phone and internet use, making it a more secure, less traceable location by abusers who try to stalk their partners. 
• Homeless shelters often enforce a curfew, requiring individuals to arrive by a certain time in the evening and leave early in the morning, often around 8 a.m. This is so the shelter can be cleaned and readied for the next night. Survivors, especially those with children, may not have an alternate place to seek shelter during the daytime hours, putting them at greater risk of returning to an abuser. 
• Many homeless shelters do not offer crisis counseling services, while this is a key component of domestic violence shelters. Even if the domestic violence shelter is full, most will offer crisis counseling to survivors, including children, until a room is ready. Advocates help survivors safety plan, process trauma and offer counseling to children involved in abuse.  
• Domestic violence shelters often have other comprehensive survivor services that homeless shelters may not, such as legal help, job placement assistance, free childcare, a clothing bank, transitional housing or help with boarding pets also escaping from abuse. 

Who Qualifies for a Domestic Violence Shelter?

Anyone experiencing abuse can seek refuge at a domestic violence shelter, but typically, shelter hotlines will prioritize beds for those most imminent risk of escalating violence. Most domestic violence shelters take in female victims and their children but offer housing alternatives such as hotel rooms to male survivors, though some also have housing options for male survivors. A survivor’s pets may be welcome at domestic violence shelters, depending on location. 

Who Qualifies for a Homeless Shelter?

Anyone who does not have a permanent, stable or safe place to stay qualifies for a homeless shelter. This can include people who live on the street or in their car, those facing eviction, individuals escaping violence at home, or those who “couch hop” between different residences that are not their own. Different shelters have different guidelines on who they house. Some cater to specific groups, such as families, youth only or veterans. Shelters should not require identification or proof of citizenship to seek help. 

What Is Transitional Housing?

Transitional housing describes housing that’s offered at an affordable or subsidized rate to unhoused individuals and families, including survivors of domestic violence, for a set amount of time until they can get secure, safe housing of their own. Transitional housing comes in many forms, including shelters, apartments or hotel rooms, depending on what resources are available in your area. 

What Is Long-Term Housing?

Long-term housing or long-term renting is any sustainable, safe and accessible housing secured for 31 days or longer. This can include the individual renting or buying a residence. Long-term housing may also be subsidized by a government-funded program called the Housing Choice Voucher Program. 

What to Expect at a Domestic Violence Shelter

Domestic violence shelters offer safe, free, emergency lodging for those escaping an abusive partner. Shelters vary across the country in terms of size, accommodations, rules and additional services. Survivors can expect to receive support from domestic violence advocates on site. Survivors may have a private room or share a room with another female survivor, depending on space. Families are often given their own room. Children will be welcome at shelter, and sometimes pets are allowed to come to shelter as well. If pet lodging is not available on site, most shelters will help survivors connect with a local animal welfare organization to secure temporary and safe boarding until a more permanent housing solution can be found. 

You may arrive at the shelter with very little—perhaps just the clothes on your back. Shelters will provide basic necessities for survivors, such as clothing, toiletries, bedding and food. Advocates can help you secure medication or legal documents that you may not have been able to bring with you. Advocates can also help you secure an order of protection against the abuser. 

You will be free to come and go from shelter, however, most shelters have curfews for all residents’ safety. You will likely not be able to have visitors when you’re at a shelter. 

You’ll be able to continue to go to work, take your children to school, and attend appointments and court dates. If you do not have transportation, the shelter may be able to help you with bus vouchers or other options. 

To learn more, read “The Support You Can Expect at a Shelter for Women and Children.”

Even If You Don’t Go to Shelter, Advocates Are Here to Help 

Domestic violence advocates know the power of getting survivors help immediately, even if they can’t give them shelter. 

“The sooner we provide support we’ve seen good outcomes in seeing the survivor get back on their own feet in their own home, and we’ve seen better outcomes long-term,” says Rios-Faust. 

Safety planning is a big part of this. Plotting a well-orchestrated exit from an abuser, relying on help from advocates, police or supportive friends and family, can sometimes mean the difference between life and death. As Rios-Faust warns, abusers often don’t just let survivors leave. 

“An abuser is most actively looking for them right after they’ve fled,” she says. “Survivors will know what lengths the abuser will go to and what their risks are.”

This is often why leaving can’t happen instantly, a common misconception voiced by those outside of abuse who insist the survivor “just leave.”

“The general public will say they should get out without fully comprehending the heightened risk that comes with that,” she says. 

Frequently Asked Questions

More questions? We have answers.

How are domestic violence shelters different from homeless shelters?

Domestic violence shelters often offer more safety and privacy for survivors than homeless shelters. Survivors can also stay full-time at a domestic violence shelter for several weeks to several months, and domestic violence shelters offer additional trauma-informed services especially for those healing from abuse. 

What are the differences between staff at domestic violence shelters versus homeless shelters?

Staff at domestic violence shelters are often specially trained in the nuances of abusive tactics, the cycle of abuse and the challenges that go along with leaving an abusive partner. Homeless shelter staff, while sensitive to the needs of those in crisis, may not be able to meet the unique needs of a survivor of domestic violence. 

How long can I stay at a domestic violence shelter?

Each shelter varies based on resources, but most domestic violence shelters offer survivors at least 30 days in shelter but will help them plan for next steps or transitional housing afterward. 

Why do domestic violence shelters have different rules?

Domestic violence advocates know that the last thing survivors need after escaping an abusive partner is to seek refuge in a place where there are more restrictions. Most shelters have a set of guidelines, however, to keep clients safe and also keep the shelter running smoothly. These may include not disclosing the shelter’s location, returning by a certain time in the evening or helping to keep shared spaces in order. 

Why are domestic violence shelters confidential?

Most shelters’ locations are private for safety reasons—staff don’t want to make it any easier for an abusive partner to track down a survivor. Plus, many have limited room and need to first screen survivors before promising them a bed. But some shelters choose to publish their address so that survivors might feel more comfortable walking in for services. For instance, the locations of Family Justice Centers around the country are public and invite people to walk in, though their shelter may be at a different location. 

Do domestic violence shelters provide security?

Domestic violence shelters are very safe. Many have security measures in place such as locked doors and security cameras to let only known residents in, a strict no-weapons policy and often separate female and male survivors. For more on what to expect, read “The Support You Can Expect at a Shelter for Women and Children.” 

What if I’m homeless because of domestic violence?

It’s estimated that 80 percent of unhoused women with children have experienced domestic violence. Many shelters provide information about transitional housing options for survivors after their stay is up at the shelter. Be sure to ask about this when you call. Even if you feel domestic violence isn’t the direct cause of being unhoused, you can reach out to a domestic violence shelter if you were at a victim of abuse at one time. 

Do homeless shelters accept abuse victims?

It varies. Some homeless shelters may advise an individual to seek shelter at a domestic violence shelter for their safety and the safety of the other clients at the homeless shelter. It’s best to be honest with shelter advocates so they can offer you the best resources for your situation. 

Do domestic violence shelters help homeless people?

Domestic violence shelters will help any individual fleeing an abusive partner, that includes homeless individuals. However, if there is not an immediate risk to the individual from an abuser, that individual’s situation may not be classified as high risk and an advocate will help them consider other places to stay. Read “How Domestic Violence Hotlines Triage Callers” for more information. 

Can men go to domestic violence shelters?

Yes, domestic violence survivors of all genders and sexual orientations are welcome and encouraged to seek help at a domestic violence shelter. Male survivors often have a space separate from female survivors or may be given alternate housing, such as a temporary stay at a hotel, in order to make everyone feel as safe and comfortable as possible. Read “A Guide for Male Survivors of Domestic Violence” for more information. 

Can my kids stay with me at a domestic violence shelter?

Yes, children are welcome to accompany a parent at domestic violence shelters. Some may even provide free childcare while a survivor goes to work or is in counseling. Some domestic violence shelters even have on-site schooling. However, there may be different accommodations offered for survivors with teenage boys out of concern for the comfort of other survivors. For more information, read “Getting Kids Out of Harm’s Way.”

Can my pets stay with me at a domestic violence shelter?

This varies by shelter, but all domestic violence shelters should be able to help you safety plan for your pets. Many have a partnership with a local animal welfare organization to board your pets while you find a more permanent housing situation. Increasingly more shelters are offering pet boarding at domestic violence shelters, many thanks to a nonprofit called RedRover. For more information, read “Saving Pets (and Yourself) From Domestic Violence.” 

Can undocumented immigrants stay at domestic violence shelters?

Yes. Immigrants are afforded the same rights and protections as any other survivor. There is no requirement to show proof of citizenship to enter a shelter. For more information, read “A Guide to Domestic Violence for U.S. Immigrants.” 

Can I stay at a domestic violence shelter if I’m not physically abused?

Yes. Abuse comes in many forms, and not all are physical. If you are in danger from an abuser who has threatened to hurt or kill you, your children or other family members, you should make sure to share this with a domestic violence advocate. Abuse almost always escalates. An abusive partner’s first act of physical violence may be the attempted murder of a survivor, especially when the abuser feels like they’re losing control.

Focusing on Your Immediate Safety 

Sometimes, safety is about finding the immediate solution rather than the most ideal one. A stay in a shelter of any kind can be a temporary step to help you stay safe. Focusing on reducing risk, creating distance from the abuser and connecting with people or services that can support you right now is vital. Longer-term solutions can come later. 

Connect with a domestic violence advocate with our Get Help page or through Hope Chat in the bottom corner of your screen to access more resources and support. Use https://www.findhelp.org/ to find other social services and resources like homeless shelters.